WHAT UP WHAT UP WHAT UP

"Enthralling." - The New York Times
"Defines a generation." - LA Times
"I can't even." - USA Today
"______________" - You

As September First fast approaches, here is some useful Craigslist lingo for roommates/items for purchase. be aware!

  • active: we are obsessed with cross-fit, and won’t shut up about it
  • antique: from my parents’ house. they’re old. so is this.
  • barely used: STOLEN
  • charming: 1970s appliances, 1970s fixtures, lead paint.
  • chill: my mom pays my car insurance.
  • conscious: my mom pays my Whole Foods bill. (quinoa! how bout it?)
  • courteous: passive-aggressive beyond anything you can currently imagine
  • cozy: 6ft x 6ft bedroom. roaches snuggle up with you in your sleep.
  • free: garbage.
  • functional: we ran out of adjectives for this item, but thought this posting needed more adjectives.
  • laid-back: no one does the dishes (except you! how bout it?)
  • lightly used: someone vomited on this just about two months ago.
  • mahogany: not mahogany
  • nerdy: get ready for six months of crippling social awkwardness
  • no drama: you are not allowed to get angry when I spill tequila on your quilt or leave the gas on all night
  • open-minded: flexitarians who watch “Modern Family”
  • respectful: see “courteous”
  • rustic: there is a dead skunk in the basement. It will be trapped in the walls forever. the landlord will do nothing about it.
  • sturdy: all of the roommates have had sex on this on one point or another, and it hasn’t broken beyond repair.
  • quiet: the roommates have taken a vow of silence. respect the vow. respect the silence.
  • quality: it’s shit.
  • quirky: we may murder you with scissors in your sleep, so don’t be surprised when it happens
  • work hard, play hard: We work in finance and drink Bud Lite Lime. we are terrible people. do not live with us.

Twitter's Officially Filling Your Timeline With People You Don't Follow 

nowwearealltom:

This was kind of inevitable. The notion that you have complete control over what you see in your feed on a social network isn’t sustainable in the long term. Tumblr has recommended posts, Youtube killed the sub box, Facebook is just… a fucking hodgepodge of nonsense, and now this.

But as far as I can tell, livejournal still exists and remains as pure as the driven snow. No idea how.

uglygirlsclub:

me+my girls going to get a milkshake 

(Source: tracksoot2)

(Source: nearlyvintage)

dontgettoohigh:

MY NAME’S NOT RICK

dontgettoohigh:

MY NAME’S NOT RICK

That’s why Batman is one of the best superheros. Because he was a lawyer, like—he was a diplomat. But in the end, it was all schizophrenia. No, man. Read the comics, man. You could be—you could be an international diplomat. And still be schizophrenic.

my neighbor, who has been sitting on my porch for the past hour, chain smoking, and having the best and worst and dumbest and most earnest conversation ever.

Allston is quality and I never want to leave it

superflatpsychosis:

Banjo-Amie?

More like I have a mighty need.

(Source: gigabeetle)

(Source: simplypotterheads)

hip-hop-lifestyle:

what color’s your bra

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